All this cluster bomb stuff is making me nostalgic! Remember Vietnam?
What a deal that war was! We killed 4 million of ’em for a mere $5 billion dollars! Killing Ruskies is been a lot more expensive! 110 billion dollars to kill only 150,000 of them?? What gives? Biden’s idea of emulating Vietnam’s cluster bombs is an excellent idea; a much better value!
And I can’t wait for Hollywood’s Ukraine War movies to come out! Maybe one will win and Academy Award, like Hurt Locker or Apocalypse Now!:
NATO and Democrats starting another war? More nostalgia!
Here is Bill Clinton bombing Yugoslavia back to the Stone Age! Good times!
And now the ‘most diverse cabinet in U.S. history’ is murdering people with cluster bombs all over Ukraine! As an American, bombing the hell out of another country feels kinda familiar, it’s how things should be, you know what I mean? I wish Monday Night Football was on already!
And just look at these little clusters of love and equanimity! I can feel the inclusiveness now, just tearing through my skin!
Now back to this movie idea! We’ll call it “Identity Politics Now”, and we’re gonna win some awards I tell ya!
The most diverse cabinet in U.S. History joins forces with NATO to pick on Russia and back them into a corner until Russia invades Ukraine. This precipitates World War Woke, and Ukraine is utterly destroyed while Team Diversity murders the f**k out of every Russian they can find!
And check out the cast of characters!
Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin: He is the first black man to significantly help funnel trillions of dollars into the Pentagon, into the bank accounts of the most vile and disgusting Americans: the arms dealers and war makers! Throughout the film, Lloyd dodges questions about CIA-involvement overthrowing governments in Africa and enslaving black children to work in deadly mines in order to help companies acquire the precious metals needed for America’s fleet of rechargeable, woke, electric cars.
Karine Jeanne-Pierre: She is the first black AND the first lesbian to be White House Spokeswoman! Karinne joins a long list of absolutely disgusting humans. White House Spokespeople look you in the eyes and lie while they steal from you, put you in danger, or in this case, murder Russians and Ukrainians with cluster bombs. You know the bombs are bad, this historic woman will look you right in the eye and tell you the cluster bombs are good for children, and Biden just has to send these over to Ukraine because the American War Machine is right, and you are wrong. So we’ve had a long list of white male total dirt bags, lying sociopaths, selling us war and murder, in that job of White House Spokesperson; now we have a black lesbian one. Progress!!!
This just in! More equality and gender equanimity enlisted for the war effort!
Headline only, don’t bother to read the advertisement:
Admiral Lisa Franchetti: A nasty white woman doing the work of mass-murder and the bombing of foreign countries, killing children, etc., a job historically done by nasty white men. More progress! (Unless cluster bombs from female Admirals don’t hurt as much?)
Pete Butitgeg: Pete is the first gay man to serve as Secretary of Transportation. He took many months off for paternity leave as the adoption process was quite draining. He also went to work one day pretending to ride his bike. Pete is great at lying, and for the movie, we will have the former military man continuously defend the 110 billion dollars spent murdering Russians in Ukraine, as he struggles to find money for bridges and roads. He knows, but will never say, that the money we have already spent on World War Woke could have seen $200,000,000 of infrastructure repairs in EACH congressional district in the U.S. There are 400+districts. Bridges not bombs maybe??
Admiral Rachel Levine: Rachel is the first transgendered Assistant Secretary of Health. Rachel will be hounded by a reporter digging for the truth. The reporter will be seeking Rachel’s opinion on the most diverse administration in U.S. history’s sending Depleted Uranium shells to Ukraine. These shells caused (and continue to cause) birth deformities all over Iraq and Libya.
The reporter will ask Rachel her medical opinion: will these depleted uranium munitions be good for the people of Ukraine or will they see cancers and birth deformities like are being seen all over Iraq and Libya?
And then we will show what Putin did to this stockpile of depleted uranium shells. (We will use this ‘found’ footage and save money on the special effects budget.) Putin sure as hell didn’t want these cancer bombs to detonate in Russia:
Those photos above, of the Iraqi deformities, that’s now the future for Ukraine. Those cancer-causing weapons came from American taxpayers and were sent their by the most diverse administration is American history.
For the movie, we will just photoshop those same photos of deformed children, but change the children from Iraqi to Ukrainian. That should save a few more bucks.
IDENTITY POLITICS NOW!
Coming soon to theater near you!