Ever get that awful pit in your stomach? Or feel your heart start to race, sweat bead up on your forehead, or a wave of nausea hit out of nowhere? Yep—welcome to anxiety.
But here’s the thing: these feelings are actually “normal”. Anxiety is our brain’s built-in alarm system. It’s designed to protect us from danger, whether it’s real or perceived. Back in caveman days, this alarm system kept our ancestors alive. Imagine they’re out hunting when a sabertooth tiger appears. If their brain didn’t sound the alarm—triggering anxiety to prepare them to run or fight—they might have ended up as lunch.
The tricky part is… our modern brain doesn’t know the difference between a life-threatening tiger and a traffic jam, a stressful email, or a heated conversation with someone we love. To your brain, it all feels like danger.
When anxiety hits, your brain kicks into what we call “fight, flight, or freeze” mode—or as I like to say, ” The F3 Mode”. And not only do you feel physical symptoms, but you may also notice changes in your behavior. You might:
– Isolate yourself
– Shut down emotionally (freeze)
– Lash out or become irritable
– Reach for something comforting—like food, alcohol, or a distraction
The good news? You’re not broken. You’re human. And anxiety, while uncomfortable, is something we can understand and learn to manage with the right tools.
So What Can You Do When Anxiety Hits?
When that overwhelming feeling creeps in—your heart racing, your palms sweating, your brain shouting “DANGER!” even though you’re just checking your email—it’s time to gently take the wheel back from your inner sabertooth tiger alarm system.
Here are some practical steps you can take the moment anxiety starts to take over:
1. Pause and Name It
Start by saying to yourself, “Okay, I’m feeling anxious right now.” Just naming it can help. You’re not weird, broken, or weak—you’re experiencing a totally normal response. Anxiety doesn’t like to be ignored, but it also doesn’t love being calmly called out either. It takes away some of its power.
2. Breathe Like a Pro
Seriously—two slow, deep belly breaths. Not the kind of shallow chest breaths you do when you’re pretending everything’s fine. We’re talking big, slow inhales that make your belly rise, followed by long, slow exhales that say to your brain, “We are not in actual danger right now.”
3. Catch the Thought – and Flip It
Ask yourself: “What thought just zipped through my head?”
Was it something like, “I’m totally going to mess this up”?
Flip the script:
Try, “I’m doing my best, and I can do hard things”
That tiny shift can change how you feel and what you do next.
4. Do the Opposite Action
If your anxiety wants you to hide in bed all day…put on real pants (yes, actual pants) and step outside—even if it’s just for five minutes. If your brain is telling you to avoid that awkward conversation? Write down what you would say, even if you’re not ready to say it yet. Doing the opposite of what anxiety demands gently reminds your brain that you’re the boss.
5. Be Kind to Yourself (Really, You Deserve It)
Your anxious brain is working overtime trying to protect you. So instead of judging yourself, try saying, “This is hard, but I’m handling it.” That little boost of self-compassion is one of the most powerful tools you have.
Final Thoughts: You Are Not Your Anxiety!!!
Anxiety might be loud, messy, and dramatic (kind of like that one friend who always thinks everything is a catastrophe). But it doesn’t get to run the show. You’ve got tools. You’ve got awareness. And now—you’ve got a plan.
The more you practice, the easier it becomes to pause, breathe, reframe your thoughts, and take small steps toward calm. You won’t always get it perfect, but the goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress.
Need a little extra support?
If anxiety is something you’re ready to tackle with more guidance, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it out on your own. My coaching program is designed to help teens and women understand their anxious thoughts, build confidence, and develop real tools to feel more in control. I’d be honored to walk alongside you or someone you love.
Denise Donohue
optimalcoachingservices@gmail.com
971-389-1237
www.optimallifecoachingforteens.com