Barbara McLaughlin
Nehalem
“Hey, Idiot” Is Not How We Win Hearts and Minds by Cyrus Javadi
Section headlines (IN CAPITALS) and my favorite quotes in this essay.
WAIT REMIND ME WHO PLATO IS AGAIN
“THE CAVE AND THE SHADOWS ON THE WALL
WE ARE ALL IN THE CAVE
“Every one of us lives inside some version of the cave. Our cave may be built out of family history, religion, education, class, geography, race, profession, political party, social media feeds, personal wounds, or the simple fact that we tend to confuse “what I have experienced” with “what is universally true.”
WHY PEOPLE SEE THE SAME FACTS DIFFERENTLY
“One of the great temptations in public life is to assume that the people who disagree with us are either stupid, dishonest, or evil.
Well, sometimes people are dishonest. Yes, sometimes people do act in bad faith. And sometimes people really are selling a bad idea with a nice label and hoping no one reads the fine print.
But most of the time, people are working from the world as they understand it.”
THE DUTY TO TELL THE TRUTH
“Especially for those of us who are entrusted with public responsibility.
You have a duty to tell the truth as best you can see it. But you also have a duty to remember that your own view is not perfect.
That is a difficult combination. Humility without cowardice. Conviction without arrogance. Curiosity without surrender.”
YOU CANNOT DRAG PEOPLE INTO THE LIGHT
“The point is not to win every argument. The point is to understand each other well enough to live together.”
“The goal is better understanding.
That’s it.
It is to help people see what we see, and to let them help us see what they see. It is to make it possible for people with different histories, different experiences, different wounds, different loyalties, and different views of reality to still live together in peace.
That is simple, but it is definitely not easy.”
Human beings contain multitudes, and some of those multitudes are embarrassing.
That is why the goal cannot be domination. It cannot be manipulation. It cannot be using our knowledge to move the shadows around for people who trust us.
The goal has to be to live honestly with one another.
To say, “Here is what I have seen.”
And also, “Tell me what I may be missing.”
WE DO NOT ESCAPE THE CAVE ONCE
“The final realization is this: the cave is not something we escape once and for all.
Rather, life is more like moving from one cave to another cave, each time discovering that some part of what we thought was real was only a shadow. Maturity is learning not to resent that process. Wisdom is learning to welcome it.
The hard part is that leaving one cave can feel like betrayal to the people still inside it. That is why truth has to be paired with kindness. Not softness. And not weakness.
Kindness.
There is a difference.
Kindness says, “I am going to be honest with you because you deserve honesty.”
Manipulation says, “I am going to tell you what keeps me popular.”
Contempt says, “I do not owe you an explanation.”
Leadership says, “Here is what I see. Here is why I see it. I may be wrong, but I will not pretend to believe something I do not believe just because the shadows are familiar.”
WALKING TOWARD THE LIGHT
“That, to me, is one of the central obligations of public service.
We have to keep walking toward the light. And when we come back inside, as all of us must from time to time, we should tell the truth about what we have seen.
And not to win, or dominate, or prove we are smarter than the people still adjusting their eyes.
But because honesty is one of the few ways we can help each other become free.
And freedom is something we all have a right to claim.”